An Aquascapers Holiday Wishlist

It’s the holiday season, and the time where many show their friends and family that they care by exchanging gifts. Not surprisingly, those trying to buy for the aquarium keeper, particularly the planted aquarium keeper, are a little baffled by our wish lists. And who can blame them? The iPod, Elmo, or latest bestseller are great for many folks, but they’re not exactly useful in an aquarium. Let me help everyone out by supplying a short list of perfect gifts for the aquarium keeper.

Dirt – Yes, that’s right, dirt. And, if it’s fancy ADA kiln-fired dirt from Japan, that’s really going to tickle their fancy. Of course, if cost is an issue, nothing shows love like “homemade dirt,” dried and aged topsoil, free of humus, that will happily supply nutrients to root feeding plants without causing green water.

Fertilizer – No, you probably won’t end up on Homeland Security’s watch list for buying this for us. (No guarantee’s though!) Simple fact, the plants need it, and we need to supply it. It might not seem like the warm and cuddly gift, but we’ll use it daily, and our plants will thank you.

Air – What could be easier? It’s all around us, but if you could simply separate the CO2 out and bottle it, we’d be most appreciative. Nothing says love like a bottle full of nothing!

Worms – Creepy, crawly, and utterly delicious, or so I’m told by my fish. Avoid the candy-coated nuts, and fine chocolates — they’re just a sticky mess in the aquarium. The worms will do, and the fish will thank you!

Technology – Finally something you’re used to, right? Well, this stuff can’t be found in any big-box gadget store. We want pH readers, state-of-the-art lights, pumps that push massive amounts of water, water heaters, and water purification systems.

Sticks – This gift does indeed grow on trees! But, don’t think it’s as simple as going out and sawing down a Christmas tree. Oh no, this needs to be a special piece that’s dried out, free of sap, full of character, and boiled to perfection. And after all of that, if it sinks it’ll raise a smile.

Stones – Always wanted to fill someone’s stocking with rocks, but never had the guts? Well, here’s you’re opportunity, and they might even thank you for it! Please don’t waste your money on any fancy, shiny, polished rocks from the jewelers. We much prefer rocks that are course, unrefined, and look like miniature mountains.

So there you have it. I hope I’ve helped clarify what every aquarium keeper dreams to find inside their gift-wrapped package. Make your slightly eccentric loved one happy, by giving a gift they’ll truly appreciate. Good luck, and Happy Holidays!